An Open Letter To My Fellow Commuters

I have promised my patients, colleagues, friends, family, neighbors, and everyone that I will never personally attack anyone on this site. But I reserve the right to shame anonymous members of the general public for their bad behavior.

I’ve been taking the train (the Boston subway line is affectionately nicknamed the “T”) to work for a few months now, and I feel the need to speak up:

To the healthy, young, lazy- ass folks who do not offer their seat to the elderly, disabled, or hugely pregnant: I saw you sprint for the train and then muscle your way through the crowd to that last open seat. I highly doubt that you are nursing some occult malady and that you really need that seat. In addition, your physique leads me to believe that you would benefit from the modest core workout that standing up on the train would afford you. So, how about get up off your well-padded duff and let the frail osteoporotic woman with the grocery bags/ the pale guy with the crutches/ the nine months’ pregnant lady with cankles sit down?

To the folks that drop their trash on the floor of the train: Seriously? There’s recycle bins and trash cans all over the place at every stop. You can’t hold on to a lousy candy wrapper for long enough to throw it where it needs to go? And how about get a digital newspaper subscription? It’s 2015.

To the folks that bash the T: Yes, it’s infrastructure is antique and the technology is outdated. But they’re doing the best they can on a minuscule budget. If you think you can do better, I believe they’re hiring… Meantime, lobby your representative to vote for more funding to upgrade the transportation you ride every day.

To the guy spouting obscenities on his cell phone: You may be engaged in a personal conversation that is so emotionally charged as to justify your judicious use of F-bombs, but we do not need to hear it. Please keep that sh-t in your mouth. If you are unable to control yourself, either call your b-tch back later or get your motherf-ck-ng ass off the train.

If we all follow these simple guidelines for basic civility and decency, we can all enjoy a much more relaxing and even enjoyable commute to the hospital.

And try to smile, too!