I am so tired.
This thought is going through my head all day, every day lately. I’m tired when I get up; all day long; and every evening. At work, after seeing patients, trying to slog through charting, I have to stop typing mid-sentence and just rest my brain. Maybe slouch, sit back in the chair, let my eyes flutter a bit… then with a nauseated oomph sit straight back up and try to concentrate on the page in front of me. I dream of a quick nap… What if there’s an empty exam room with a table for a quick snooze? But the idea of someone walking in on me ruins it, and I muster up some kind of energy to get through another day.
At our providers’ meeting this week, the topic was treatment of insomnia. We all sat in a darkened room to watch a patient video on non- pharmacologic treatment of insomnia. In the video, some patients were interviewed on their experience with cognitive behavioral therapy. It showed them, at first, tossing and turning in bed, drinking wine, surfing the computer, watching TV, all sorts of bad sleep habits… then they cut to the sleep therapist talking about the healthy changes they encourage patients to make, with positive sleep thoughts, clean bedtime habits, regular set bedtimes, etc etc. and then they cut back to the patients, in PJs, in quiet darkened rooms, getting into their warm soft fluffy beds, and sleeping like babies… That video killed me, even the music was soporific. I was especially exhausted the rest of the day.
I joked about this to a colleague, who told me that when she was pregnant, and at work, she would get so tired that she dreamed of going to her car in the parking garage and sleeping there. I laughed, but then I thought about that too…
I figured this excessive daytime fatigue was due to being 7 months pregnant and having a toddler at home, but when I told my OB about it, and she wanted to check a CBC and thyroid function… I was grateful. Maybe there’s something here that can be treated, I thought. But no, the numbers were perfect, stellar. And I’m eating well. I’m taking my prenatal. I go to bed at like, 9 pm. I walk a fair amount- I have to park so amazingly far away from work, I get about 2 miles a day of (very slow) walking in on my workdays, which for a big pregnant lady, is plenty of exercise. So, it comes down to being tired because I’m 7 months pregnant and have a toddler at home. Oh well…
Don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful that I am pregnant, at my age, without fertility treatments; and that I’ve got this really cute little boy just started to talk and walk… It’s wonderful really, we are incredibly blessed.
But still, I am just so tired